What If

They say it’s prohibited  to say that word.
What if..
What if i dare myself to say it out loud?
What will they do to me?

What if i be someone else that i imagine in mind?
The one that i never became? The one-self that’s not yet existed?
The impact of what they did to me.
How will they recognize me?

What if i one day, i announce my very own cheat day?
Not towards the meal i ate
But towards the persons i met
They can barely recognize me..
Why must this happen? They ask for answer

it’s simple.
What if you’re the reason?

NZ | 1301720

The Day You Called It A Day

The day you called it a day.

It was a brilliant day,
The day i could possibly regain my strength
Cause it's already to that length; my busy days,
Cause i already cried a bank; since LDR is there.

On that brilliant day,
then i saw you were asking,
for questions from those and who is following,
i asked too, not to ignore you
intended to motivate you, your morning
then came another one or two, more curiosity upon you.
It came out; somebody is a better motivator.
i hope it 'was'

The day you called it a day,
you answered mine; like i'm the stranger.
They could tell by the words.
That somebody was replied too,
surprisingly; sweet and effortlessly,
we could sense it.
you tell me it's neither him or her; then what could it be?

It was the day you admitted you 'miss' ___,
While the world around you and ___ went sparkling,
The spark in our relation gone missing,
Our ship is sinking; many people around but no one could save me from the sinking ship, because it's ours.
i was suffocating, and everyone could see i was already dying but you.

While you remained calm in the striking wave,
___ knew ___ won the ghost battle.
It was the day you called ours a day,
the moment you said 'you miss ___'
i waited and built myself alone so long,
till finally i got the answer, that the one you missed is her.


NZ | 742020

Human and machine

Dark clouds bring us tears and flood
On this point, where i stood
They
create walls and bridges
between me and my sisters.

We are separated 
on a land that we thought to be fertile
but is barren due to oversupply
of water that we cry, of the tear from the sky.

The sky feels sad, you make him mad,
when your plan to ease yourself
with machine, Lego and robots,
you destroy others' lungs, heart and throat.
the easiness turns madness.
And now.
Let me ask in tears,
If roses are reds, and violets are blue,
for the world to be great, what will you do?

Nisa Zainodin
310318

expect less

Hoping the world to be good to you,
it's a bizarre imagination,
too far from the expectation
the least expectation a human can make. 

The world can be kind
and somehow it shows the unkind.

The true colors that teach you; ocean will not always blue.
indeed the blue color you see is borrowed from the sky.

That's why,
you. must always be you.
For people won't mistake you to be someone else. 
Someone they expect to fulfill their wishes, needs, hopes and desires.

NZ | 070116

Sabr

The thing is
when i take the ring,
the needs to think twice or thrice,
to almost everything i'm doing.
is everything.

now i'm rich,
with gold, smiles and words you preach.
there you stay,
with a promise, 'to trust anyway'.
                         
                  remember,

                  when you pass me the ring,

                  you need to think twice or thrice,

                  to almost everything you're doing.

                  now you're a keeper,

                  don't be the player.

                  here i'm attached to a promise,

                  but why is she the one you miss?

then i realize,

promises are meant to be forgotten.

heart is meant to be broken.

if the heart isn't attached to the Deen and what He has spoken,

sure there's aversion.

so i lift the trust, faith and patience.

for all that have happened.

have you no compassion?

NZ | 210916

break free

enough heartbreak
to put me to the deepest darkside of the ocean
enough heartbreak 
to sink me till i forget how to breath, how is the action. 
the act of breathing in, breathing out.
enough heartbreak 
to leave me unconscious, having no clue of my being.
unless
i put a break.
to myself, heart, soul.
neglecting all the nonsense, frustration, temptation
that keep
appear, reappear then disappear.
hiding themselves in me.
it ain't easy.
Nah..
it can be handled.
slowly.
take your time.
will you?

NZ | 030216

Sunflower

Girls,
be the sunflower.
Grow along the fading moonlight.
Glow together with the sunlight.
A morning person, we like.

Girls,
be the sunflower.
Silent once the night strikes.
Obedient to the beauty sunbright.
When the sun is actually a sign,
for you to do what's right.
For you are safely kept in the garden
of your home.
For you are your parets' maiden.
Please, return home.

NZ | 061215

The Elder

You may have forgotten,
That your parents are human.
There will come a time they soon forget,
All the things you've said,
Don't you get mad,
Don't you feel bad.

You may have forgotten,
That your parents are human.
There are things that made them fight,
For matters that look blurry at their sight,
Don't push it more,
Don't let it blow,
Pull them slow.

You may have forgotten,
That your parents are human.
Be their light,
For they're not always right,
But for you,
Forever they will fight.

You may have forgotten,
That your parents are human.
They smile, they cry.
They love, they hate,
But don't leave them,
Forgive their mistakes,
And wait them,
At heaven's gate.

You may have forgotten,
Allah has said,
In Luqman the fourteenth..
'Be grateful to Me and to your parents.
Unto Me is the final destination.'

NZ 
cowrote with RR and 
final touch-up by WAWS | 171115

our end year product =) alhamdulillah

An Empty Sit

There's a sit next to me,
it's still empty
for i've waited you so long,
for the ticktocks counted aren't enough yet
to create a new song
with lyrics, there is story to be read.
our story.

There's a sit next to me,
its cushion makes you sleepy,
but it's still empty.
as i'm counting time for your arrival
if you were to utter the proposal
yet i missed the count
i've lost the direction
the watch i'm wearing fights with its rotation.
our story stopped.

The empty sit next to me, is still here.
Taught me to be more sincere,
for the right time is not near,
for that's the reason you couldn't come closer.

Yes.
The sit is still empty dear.
year after year...
for it reminds me that i'm a sinner.
that i've spent those years behind
as cruel and selfish creature,
so now
i'll stand 
to meet my Creator.
and walk as repenter.

NZ | 300815

When Friend Arrives (adapted from ‘When Love Arrives’ by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye)

I knew exactly what Friend looked like – during Foundation

Even though I hadn’t met Friend yet, if Friend had wandered into the mainhall,

I would’ve recognized him at first glance.

Friend wore black tie and white shirt.
I would’ve recognized her at first glance,

Friend wore a rainbow shawl.
Friend played pink guitar and knew all my favorite Hujan’s songs.
Friend wasn’t afraid to ride the bus with me. 

And I knew, I just must be searching the wrong class location, just must be checking the pending Whatsapp text.

She was there, I was sure of it.
If only I could find him.

But when Friend finally showed up,

she wore no lip-gloss.
He wore the same black shirt every day for a week.
Friend hated public transport.
Friend didn’t know anything about Running Man.
Instead,

every time I try to please Friend, it was me who got fed up!

Friend became the reason I lied to my lecturers.

He’s having.. headache.

Friend had terrible record of class attendance,

but made sure we never missed Rhythm of the Champion.

Friend waited by the phone because she knew if she ever missed the call,

she’ll be left alone in the hostel and missed the dinner at Scud.

And Friend grew, stretched like a chewing gum.
Friend changed. Friend disappeared,
Slowly, like baby teeth, losing parts of me I thought I needed.

Friend vanished,

like an amateur magician, and everyone could see the trapdoor but me.
like the monthly allowance everyone could spend it wisely but me.

Friend will stay away for years, and when Friend finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.
Friend might smell different now,

wearing lens,

a broader back, Friend came with muscles I didn’t notice.

New hairstyle, a teacher voice.
Now there were new eating schedule, new favorite authors.
Friend had songs that reminded her of someone else, songs Friend didn’t like to listen to.

So did I.

But we found a spot that we both admire.
We found news that make us think deeper.
And now, Friend amazes me with her new “When Friend Arrives” poetry.
(But Friend will probably finish reading it after years)

Friend looks great in green shirt but still likes to wear the black.
Friend is a terrible map, but a confident speaker.
Friend knows where she’s going, it just might take her two hours longer than she planned.
Friend is messier now, not as simple.
Friend starts to use “Mama!” instead of Aunty to call my Mom.

Friend chews too loud.
Friend leaves her laundry for a week.
Friend uses ‘Hoi’ and ‘LOL’ in his text messages.
And turns out, Friend ‘meh!’

But Friend also cries.
And Friend will tell you, you are strong and mean it, over and over again.

“You are strong.”
When you failed a paper, “you are strong.”
When you’ve just been crying, “you are strong.”
When you don’t want to hear it, “you are strong.”
When you don’t believe it, “you are strong.”
When nobody else will tell you, “you are strong.”
Friend still thinks you are strong.

But Friend is not perfect and will sometimes forget,

when you need to hear it most, you are strong.

Do not forget this.

Friend is not who you were expecting, Friend is not who you can predict.
Maybe Friend is in Kuching, already asleep; You are in Kota Bharu, Sungai Petani, wide awake.
Maybe Friend is always in the wrong time zone.
Maybe Friend is not ready for you.
Maybe you are not ready for Friend.
Maybe Friend just isn’t the talkative type.
Maybe the next time you see Friend is twenty years after graduation,

Friend is older now, but just as beautiful as you remembered.
Maybe Friend is only there for a month.
Maybe Friend is there for every courses, every birthday party, every hospital visit.
Maybe Friend stays,

maybe Friend can’t.
Maybe Friend shouldn’t.

Friend arrives exactly when Friend is supposed to,
And Friend leaves exactly when Friend must.
God knows best.

When Friend arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”
If Friends leave, ask them to leave the door open behind.
Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper,
“Thank you for stopping by.”

Let fate fares us well.

NZ | 060815.

Specially adapted and written for KSK-ians @KapalSelamKrew

PISMP January 2012 Intake

(June 2010 – September 2015)

my (our) first trial of spoken poetry.

Luckily we did it though at first, we almost missed our turn (the real situation was; actually the organizer missed our names in their list =( so sad)

Yushamri is the mirror of Phil Kaye i guess (if you're reading this, Hey Yo!)

My Will

Will you forgive 
all my faults?
Will you forget 
all my sulks?

Will you delete 
all my weakness?
Inside and out, 
all you've witnessed?

Will you make du'a for me when I'm not around?
Talk nothing about me when I'm not in front?
Hope to meet me
when all matters here are done?

Can we meet eventually?

NZ | 130715

atuk

Atuk went away,
Disappear.
Letting me in gray.

Atuk once told me to be the righteous,
of how a true Muslim should be.

Do i?

Al-Fatihah.

NZ | 100305

Supplement

for the dreams we aim,
what we got might not be the same.
Not that He's neglecting,
it is us who do less begging.

for the wishes we hope,
it might be something we can't cope,
thus He sends us rainbow,
to beautify our sorrow.

Keep dreaming and wishing,
but
the du'a must be ongoing,
the effort must be outstanding.
He knows everything.

NZ | 090215

unnoticed

Bismillah

Sometimes i come crashing down inside
myself
without anyone noticing but Allah

NZ | 260115

Getting older

The age aging.
The world changing.
The life leaving.
We are here,
suffocating.

Sure it's not the magic wonders anymore.
Sure it's not the same path we've to go.

People change,
People die.
The world and its fills cry.
I greet them goodbye.

NZ | 200115

well well

Bismillah

Fall out of love
making the heart relax
yet
the thunder still follows

NZ | 140115

close enough? 2.0

Hello brother!
Brother of the same deen,
the same faith.

Hey ya bro!
A bro that i met in this volunteering scene,
this amazing event.

For the 'ilm that you share,
For the thought that you dare,
For the happiness and laugh there,
Thanks from us both.

These words will be the thing i left,
for you and the rest.

Till we meet again,
if not here, akhirah is there,
waiting.

NZ | 261114

# PSNvolunteering
# this poem was dedicated to my 'Bend the Bridge' teammate when i volunteered for National Science Centre in November 2014. Team yang sangat sangat awesome waktu tu. Always with their provoking and mind-blowing topics each day. We were like four people who put heads together to make things better haa..over sangat -_-
# thank you guys!

the people

too excited to be visited by those adik-adiks! 

once in a lifetime

Twin?
A tough job.
A great wish and hope.
A wonderful mother can cope.

Identical twin?
i rarely met.
i barely knew.
Glad that i met and i knew,
finally.

Identical twin brothers?
The same faces, weirdness and craziness.
Same blood and DNA yet different printing on the thumb.

Can they still have the same home hereafter?
Can they still meet after all this worldly matter?
Can they return to Him together?

May their life be blessed.

Here in dunya,

till there, akhirah.

NZ | 261114

pearl nature

Bismillah

It is easy though
that the pearl is passed to another person,
when the real owner is actually..
waiting patiently,
for the oyster to be opened.

NZ | 051114

#1 random reminder

Bismillah

When a kid is in trouble,
close your mouth tight.
Open your arms wide.

NZ | 080914